Seasonal stresses can throw the strongest of relationships off course.
Statistics have shown that January sees more broken up than loved-up couples.
After an argument, the first thing to suffer is intimacy and sex, meaning couples grow even further apart.
So put away your normal resolutions and follow these simple sexolutions to bring some brilliant times back into your
Sexolution no 1: Think about before-play
If you’re arguing over the credit card bills or the relatives who spoilt Christmas you’re not going to be in the mood for sex.
I coined the phrase “before-play” to make couples think about how the general mood between them might scupper
Sexologist Dr Trina Read of VivaXO.com agrees: “Give tons of affectionate touches and be nice to each other.
“Compliment your partner every day and make sure you hug and kiss.
“It’s easier to walk into the bedroom and have mind-blowing sex when we’re in a good space with our partner.”
Sexolution no 2: Stimulate your tired-out sense of touch
It’s important to wake-up the sensuous feelings you’re probably missing.
When you stop connecting physically, your skin loses its sensitivity to touch.
Julie Peasgood, creator of Swoon pleasure products, says: “To reinvigorate sense of touch, get a feather from an art shop
or even from a clean feather duster.
“Sprinkle massage oil on your partner and watch them writhe with pleasure as you use the feather to make patterns over
Sexolution no 3: Come toy with me
Relationship Research suggests about 30% of couples experiment with sex toys… that means 70% are missing out on the
There are sex toys for every taste available from high-street shops and internet retailers.
Have fun shopping together and enjoy using them with each other when you get home.
Sexolution no 4: Keep things quirky
Resolve to try different things including quirky or novel ideas.
“Have sex with your clothes on,” says Siski Green, author of How to Blow His Mind in Bed.
“It’s remarkable how different sex feels when you’re not doing the ‘usual’.
“There’s something very raunchy about keeping clothes on – it’s like your passion is so overpowering that you don’t have
time to get undressed.
“And you’ll recall times when a hand under the top was enough to make your stomach flip.”
Sexolution no 5: Easy sex-play
Why make sex harder when resolving to get things back on track?
Keep a lockable “pleasure chest” at your bedside, containing your favourite luscious lubricant and massage oil.
Some naughty handcuffs, a blindfold, a sex toy or two, condoms if you use them, even candles and matches to set the
Sexolution no 6: Ask for it
Sexology research reveals once couples have been together a while they go into mind-reader mode with sex.
But you can’t assume your partner still wants the same sex “moves” they did a decade ago.
Stop mind-reading and start asking what they fancy trying out nowadays.
Sexolution no 7: Heighten the pleasure
Doing things differently means learning to heighten the pleasure for both of you.
Siski Green recommends having sex in the dark, with the lights off or with blindfolds or scarves.
She says: “Not being able to see his expression will make it easier for you to say exactly what you want him to do.
It will also help you remove the focus from how you look in bed, something that often prevents women from feeling
Sexolution no 8: Pole position
Studies show couples settle into one or two tried and tested positions after only a couple years together.
Considering that there are dozens of “do-able” positions that don’t require the skills of a gymnast, this is a key area to
resolve to change.
Let’s say you like the girls-on-top position – the reverse of missionary style with you lying astride him.
Easily change that to the reverse cowgirl – you sit on top of him but facing his feet for a gentle ride.
Practically any position you get bored in can be easily made into another one that’s much more exciting for both you and