If you’re currently dating, it may feel like the whole scene is one giant guessing game. Should you call? Should you text? On which date should you have your first kiss? It can get a bit overwhelming, and leave you wondering if there are any secret or surprising dating tips to make it all easier.

Because it’s true — dating life can be a scary, confusing, and overwhelming world. (And OK, maybe sometimes alittle bit fun.) But mostly it feels like it has an intense amount of rules, as well as a lot of pressure. The cool thing about dating, though, is that the rules are mostly all in our heads. At the end of the day, dating isn’t that serious. So if the rules are driving you crazy, don’t follow them. And if you feel overwhelmed, by all means switch things up so that the fun aspect can become more the norm.

But sometimes, a few tips and tricks can come in handy, especially if you’re truly trying to find yourself a good match, and potential future partner. If that sounds like you, then here are a few surprising dating tips that you probably haven’t heard. Feel free to replace these with all the old rules floating around in your head, and good luck out there.

I know, it seems sort of pessimistic to go into a date looking for problems. But unless you’re just being casual and having fun, it’s better to not waste your time on someone who isn’t a good match. As Melanie Pinola said on Lifehacker.com, “We all have things we definitely don’t want in a partner.” Keep those in mind, and don’t be afraid to peace out at the first sign of a red flag.

Whenever your BFFs claim to know someone who’s “so perfect” for you, it can immediately feel like a bad idea. And yet, who knows you better than your friends? They may very well do a great job recommending someone to date, so go ahead and let them play matchmaker. Besides, it’s sometimes better to meet new partners through your friends, since there will already be a familiarity and comfort there, according to Christie Hartman, Ph.D., in an interview with Pardes. It may be totally worth a try.

A lot of relationships start after an initial fling, and that’s perfectly fine. Keep in mind, however, that hooking up doesn’t mean you have to continue dating, especially if it doesn’t feel right. As Rhonda Milrad said on HuffingtonPost.com, “… physical intimacy doesn’t mean you are necessarily close and connected. Following a single fling, take time to get to know the other person and see what direction it takes, if any.”

Dating is supposed to be fun, so by all means enjoy yourself. But keep some of these tips in the back of your mind, so you can have success finding your next relationship.