IT SEEMS like everyone is ticking off a bucket list these days, with YouTube sensations, adrenaline junkies and even the elderly jumping out of perfectly good planes with this as their reason.
So it was only a matter of time before this notion crept into our bedrooms.
I think a sex bucket list is a great tool to find sexual satisfaction and explore what really excites you — for singles and couples alike. Your lists might look different, but why should singles have all the fun?
IF YOU ARE SINGLE
It’s not exactly the new Tinder or RSVP, but sexual exploration and experimentation can assist in the battle to working out what you want. How do you know what you want in a relationship if you have never tried different things?
Do you want to be like so many out there, suffering from a fear of missing out (fomosexuality) or experience what you desire?
Not all desires might be possible (or even legal) but there will be some things that you feel you need to experience.
I won’t suggest that everyone who doesn’t experiment sexually will necessarily cheat, but if you are able to tick some boxes off the list, the risk of fomo and infidelity might be decreased.
Satisfaction in future relationships might also be higher as you have experienced things, understand what it is you want and recognise what it is when you do get it.
IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP
But it’s not all doom and gloom if you are in a relationship. The grass might look greener on the other side, but why not water your own grass and decide what garden you want to create in it.
There are many people who due to this feeling of “I wonder what else is on offer” have left relationships only to find that what they really had was right, and then going back might not be an option.
If you have found love you have found love, no matter what stage or how many sexual partners you have or haven’t previously had. Enjoy experimenting together and working with the positives of a safe, secure and intimate relationship. (Imagine experimenting with anal sex and the risks involved on a one-night stand — eek!).
But have you both had a discussion about what type of fun you want to be had? So many couples avoid discussing the nitty, gritty and possibly awkward and embarrassing bedroom desires. With a list, this might give you a discussion tool but also help you discover what each person’s desires actually entail.
Maybe all you really need to spice things up in a relationship is a pen and paper.
So how to create your bucket list? That’s entirely up to you. But think about why each act is there, what is represents and why you might want to try it.
A sex bucket list can be a lot of fun, but is a particular act there because it’s forbidden, taboo, something you saw in a porno or something that has always tickled your fancy? You also need to look at the impact of this act and if you are in a relationship, how the other person feels. This is about compromise and communication, not a greedy wish list to Santa.
Many singles long for a stable relationship. Many of those in stable relationships long to be out there getting up to what singles are doing. People always seem to want what they don’t have.
So instead, why not celebrate and focus on what you do have.
And a bucket list just might help those in both relationship statuses. If you are single, you have the freedom to tick off anything on your list. If you are coupled up, then you have the safety to explore and experiment with someone you have a connection with.
To me each relationship position is a winner. The only thing that’s left is creating that list!