With the heel of your palm or the base of a flat metal bowl, mash the khoya, so that no grains remain.
Mix in the flour and baking soda and knead into firm dough. You can use a food processor too.
The dough should be firm but pliable and should not feel dry. If it does feel dry, wet your hands and work the dough again.
Shape the dough into marble-sized balls (jamuns) that are smooth and creaseless. The shape can be round or oblong.
Heat ghee in the kadahi till a piece of dough tossed in comes up at once.
Lower heat and fry a cube of bread till light brown (this lowers the temperature of the ghee).
Lift out bread and add as many jamuns as will fit in, without one touching the other.
Keeping the heat low, fry these till a golden brown all over.
Drain the jamuns out of the ghee, and fry the next lot, increasing the heat for a few seconds and then lowering it again before adding the jamuns.
Keep the gulab jamuns aside till the syrup is ready.
Mix the sugar and water and place over low heat, stirring till the sugar dissolves. Make sure it does not boil.
Increase the heat once the sugar dissolves, and then bring mixture to a boil.
Add the milk and water mixture and continue boiling over high flame, without stirring.
Skim off any scum that collects on the sides of the pan.
Cook till syrup thickens a bit. A finger dipped in slightly cold syrup should form a coating on it
for a few seconds.
Take syrup off stove and cool for a minimum of half an hour. Strain through a fine nylon sieve
or muslin cloth.
Add cardamom and bring syrup to a boil again.
Add the fried gulab jamuns to it and put off the heat. Let jamuns soak for at least half an hour