Parenting is real work and it can make you lie!


In today’s age and time, a mother is nothing less than a superhuman. Sadly, she doesn’t have extraordinary superpowers like hearing through walls, turning invisible or flying to rescue. And without these superpowers, they are handling their work life, their house, the family and their kids. And it is these ‘kids’ that these little wonders bring out the superhumans in them. From ensuring they are well fed, monitoring their school work, attending the PTM, resolving day-to-day matters to keeping them engaged in activities that mothers feel are important for them, it’s a never ending saga.

When my daughter started her school, I was worried as well as excited. On her first day in nursery, I met a couple of other moms who were eagerly waiting for their kids with concern written all over their faces. That’s a common sight in nursery, since it’s the first real exposure to a school. I happened to talk to a few moms and we exchanged numbers. The intent was clear. We all moms wanted some connect that could bring us somewhat close to the time our kids spend in school. We were instructed by the headmistress not to create any ‘Mother’s Whatsapp’ group and that the school condemns it. The headmistress had shared the teacher’s number and strictly told all mothers that the queries should be directed at the teacher and not fellow mothers.

But we all had each other’s number and we couldn’t resist creating one. However, we were in sync with the thought behind slamming such groups so we decided never to discuss school issues in the group. We all were enjoying sharing sweet endearing tales that our kids told us after coming back home. “Riddhima got yummy pancakes.” “Himank’s bottle overflowed and ma’am gave him a star for not crying.” “Aryav told Arya that he loves her.” “Tamanna told ma’am Riddhima is her best friend.” “Ma’am asked everyone to clap for Deena because she finished her lunch.” Among these cute little exchanges, we would sometimes mention our kids’ achievements. And it felt right, since we all were bonding over our kids.

Our kids graduated to KG class together. We were so happy to know that there will be no shuffling.
It was World Organ Day and some kids were picked to speak in the assembly. The teacher had called some parents for the same. Selected kids were to open the assembly that day and recite about health and body parts. I was excited because it was the first time my daughter was given lines to speak on the stage. And much to my surprise, she mugged up the lines pretty fast. Excitedly, I shared it in the group. After that, three more mothers told about their kids. It was a healthy discussion or so I thought. The next day I got to know that some mothers from the group called the class teacher blaming her for bias and not giving lines to their children. And to top it all, the teacher was told that I was the one who shared the information. I felt extremely hurt. To clear my stance, I called up the teacher to tell her my side of the story. She told me that two mothers were very rude and they plan to talk to the headmistress on the PTM.Later I got to know that both the teacher and the headmistress were very firm in dealing with both the mothers and they were clearly told that they have a record of kids who perform and every time they give opportunity to new kids. I saw them leaving the PTM with dull faces.When the mothers were confronted in the group, both of them lied and said they had no clue about it. It felt even worse. A separate group was formed of the mothers banishing the two and a lot of aggressive messages were exchanged. They called them liar, coward, selfish and what not. But then I separated myself from the situation and pondered. Is it wrong for a mother to wish her kid to do well? Is she selfish if she wants to sense pride seeing her child talk on the stage? Yes, her technique was wrong and she violated the very rule that the group was based upon but what if she was seriously worried about her child’s growth. Maybe she saw this as an opportunity to give her child the required exposure. I remember one of the mothers telling me once how her daughter loved being on the stage, how she would often take center stage at weddings or events and would grab the mike at every opportunity she got. If we stand by the famous adage – “Everything is fair in love and war”, I forgive them because their reason was Love! That too the purest form of love, that of a mother!

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