I nursed hope for a ‘hopeless’ relationship


Question: I am in a relationship with a guy from past 3 years. He’s 5 years elder to me. Before we got into a full fledged relationship, he said he won’t go against his parents to marry anyone. We belong to completely different cultural backgrounds and somehow I couldn’t hold myself back then and continued the relationship with the thought “we’ll see what the future brings”. Now, he’s done with his course and is leaving the city. It’s literally killing me to even think that I have to let go the relationship that I treasured for so long.

I did talk to him hoping his thoughts might have changed because we spent great times together. But, he said he has a family obligation and there’s a huge age gap between us. I just can’t understand what to do now. I obviously can’t force him to be with me. But, it’s just so difficult and painful to let go of this relationship like this. What should I do?

Answer by Aditi Kulkarni: Letting go of a loved is a tough thing to do. However, as you rightly said, he cannot be forced to continue the relationship. Despite how difficult it is, you need to start to take a more realistic view of your situation. Once you accept the current situation, you will be in a position to cope with the loss.

It is possible that you experience emotions such as anger, betrayal, confusion and sadness. Remember that despite how strong these feelings may seem today, they will gradually subside. In the meanwhile, I recommend that you speak to a counsellor who can support you in this challenging time.

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