Question: I am a 28-year-old married woman and a mother of two kids, terribly unsatisfied with my life because of my orthodox in-laws, and non- supportive husband with whom I had a love marriage and for whom I ditched the first love of my life.

To overcome my frustration, I pursued an extra marital affair, but soon found myself in trouble because of the same. Now, my problem is that despite all my efforts I still can’t get over my first lover.

He’s happily married with a kid, but his dreams still disturb my sleep. And, though we are not in touch, I can’t get over the guilt of ditching him and marrying the wrong person. I can’t handle my situation. Please help me.

 Answer by Dr Seema Hingorrany: It seems to me that you have formed a co-dependency on all the people that you have described above. I am sure this has happened very subconsciously.
I strongly feel that happiness lies within and blossoms when you do something meaningful in your life. Having regrets is but natural, but you have a choice, talk about them and then process them rather than getting stuck with them.
You are seeing him in your dreams because you haven’t worked on many of your past memories. Please visit a therapist, talk to her about your feelings and get a road map of your life soon.