Are you telling your partner a little too much? You might just want to think again before letting out passwords to him. We ask experts to tell you whether sharing every secret in your relationship can be healthy.
A recent survey conducted by Norton, a computer security firm claimed that more and more couples are sharing their passwords for social networking sites and emails — with 20 per cent of those surveyed, admitted to logging into their partner’s email accounts and social sites without telling them, out of which 15 per cent said that they ended up having a fight with their partner due to this.
Individuality has cultivated and independence is sacred — the question is how much should you really share with your partner? These days the ‘me’ is no longer absorbed into a ‘we’. Relationship codes have changed and the concept of a fusional couple is no longer an ideal one. Earlier, going out on a dinner with your gal/guy friend or chatting over the telephone with your ex was unthinkable — but it isn’t the same today.
To tell or not to tell…
“Every relationship should be based on transparency, honesty and necessity,” says senior relationship counsellor, Dr Rajan Bhonsle. According to him, if there are intimate details involving your past relationship, like an intimate physical relation or a serious affair — it is advisable to tell your partner about it. It helps you bond better and stronger.
Whereas, some people are of the opinion that you should ideally let your partner know about your secrets, there are others who feel that sharing every detail with the help of gadgets, relationships can be monitored is not a great idea.
Relationship expert, Seema Hingorrany says, “Letting your partner enter into every domain in your life can prove to be fatal — especially when your relationship is new or if you are patching up after a break-up.” Often couples have found out information about the other by accessing their accounts. Niharika Singh, 23, banking professional says, “In spite of telling him not to, my boyfriend would secretly check my SMSes. He found out that I was still in touch with my ex — and that led to emotional turmoil and built mistrust in our relationship.”
What you should really be telling…
You should only let out details of what you are comfortable with. It has nothing to do with cheating, hiding or playing unfair games. Sometimes the deepest and darkest secrets could ruin not only your relationship but also your future.
Share your little secrets
It is fine to share details like how you’ve gone out with your male/female colleague at work for a cup of coffee. This might make your partner go crazy for sometime, but need not worry — keep your cool.
Wait for the right moment…
If you are looking to share it with him — like a serious past relationship, an intimate issue or an extra-marital affair with your partner, Hingorrany explains that you should ideally take a lot of time to completely pour your heart out to your partner. She says, “If you break-up with your partner, there are chances that he might divulge with your secrets out of frustration. Make sure to take a lot of time before you start venting out.”
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