Hi, I met a girl in school, became good friends with her and we gradually into a relationship. Later, we joined the same engineering college for pursuing our B.tech and started having arguments intermittently over various issues, which we used to resolve somehow. In our third year, she got a bit busy with her studies and I became closer to another girl. Genuinely, I didn’t want to cheat on my girlfriend, but since we were having repeated arguments, I thought of breaking up with her and carrying on with the second girl I had just met.
Now, I’m in a relationship with the second girl. It’s been two years; but the problem is that I still miss my first girlfriend. Since we are still at the same place, we do see each other at times. I feel sad about the fact that I couldn’t explain her anything at that time. Now, if I go back to her, I’m afraid the same thing will happen with me regarding the second one as well. Honestly, I am love with both of them. Both are equally good. I just can’t understand what to do. Please help. – Anonymous
Answer by Dr Seema Hingorrany: Dear friend, in my honest opinion, you don’t seem to be in love with either of them. I think you share a great camaraderie and a healthy bond with them. When in love, it’s very unlikely to have convoluted feelings for your partner. Most of us are sure, at least for the time being our romantic attachment is with one person, unless we have a strong reason to move on, which is also very common. These oscillatory thoughts of your feelings for both these girls are creating confusion in the framework of what you are really looking for in a relationship. Also, squabbles and minor arguments are a part and parcel of a relationship. It’s a learning curve and not a sufficient reason to move on to someone else. I suggest you to please talk to a psychologist nearby, and figure out your expectations and boundaries in a relationship. Rest will surely follow.