We all agree that ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ which makes creating a perfect yin-yang balance in our relationships a tough task. Though every relationship has its share of ups and downs that a couple has to sail through together, have you ever wondered there might be certain things which you as a woman would be doing wrong? Whether you have recently started dating Mr Nice Guy or have been married to your Mr Right, there are certain relationship mistakes women keep making over and over again. Here Dr Rashi Ahuja, Psychologist and Hypnotherapist, Park Hospital, Gurgaon shares 10 commandments for women on what not to do when you have a partner. Read on:

Do not be too giving

While it is not wrong to be giving in a relationship, rather that is what makes the relationship complete, but giving to an extent where you put your own needs down is something which is not correct. For example if the partner is abusive— whether physically, emotionally or verbally— a step needs to be taken. Give a warning saying that it is not acceptable, but if it is something wrong that’s happening repeatedly then it’s time to break the relationship. The main reason why we get into a relationship is for our own personal growth and anything that hampers it is not healthy.

 Do not make your partner your only priority

Women tend to give too much attention to their boyfriends or husbands that their own personal lives shrink in the process. While being friends with your spouse’s friends is a good idea, do not forget to have your own social circle too. Many a times, women do not stay in touch with their friends once they have a significant other. Their priority changes and they start to concentrate on their boyfriend or the husband while it is not the same with men. Guys, on the other hand, do make you a priority but they also very well know how to prioritize themselves well.

 Do not spend all your time with your spouse

The old adage ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ actually stands true. Ladies, consciously take some ‘me time’ out of your ‘we schedules’ and pamper yourselves too. After all relationship is hard work and it often pays if you take some time off it, sit back and relax.

Do not stop looking after yourself

Hit the gym and exercise regularly as this would keep your mind-body active and also boost your self-image. If you are angry with your spouse, take it out by sweating it out in the gym rather than nagging at your boyfriend or husband. This would not only brighten up your mood but you might also end up burning a few calories in the process— a win-win situation for you!

 Do not lose your identity

Take time out for yourself and utilise it by doing things which would make you feel empowered—be it a hobby or something you have been thinking to focus on since long. Nurture your individuality and have your own identity apart from your partner’s.

Do not be financially dependent on your partner

Money is a constant source of argument even among the best of the couples. Considering our societal structure, though a man is supposed to support his spouse monetarily, it is also advisable for women to be financially independent. Financial security gives you a sense of accomplishment.

Do not have blind faith

 While trust is the basic element of any relationship, keep your eyes open for any red-flags and sudden behavioural changes in your partner. As Dr Ahuja points out, “There would be certain changes in your partner’s behaviour; it wouldn’t happen overnight and that needs to be noticed”. This doesn’t mean that you become insecure in your relationship; just keep an open eye to the red-flags and address the issues. After all, communication is the key to any healthy relationship.