I am a 36-year-old man and my wife is 33-years-old. We have a 2.5 year old kid. Our sex life was fine till she got pregnant in
mid 2013. After child birth, my wife is not interested in sex. Initially, while having intercourse, she used to experience pain
and a burning sensation for which she consulted her gynecologist, who prescribed some medicines which were taken by
my wife and she seemed to be fine after that. But, she is still not interested in having sex, though she wants me to hug,
kiss, fondle and caress her.
I have a high sex drive, whereas my wife lacks it completely. I am frustrated as I am sex starved. I am unable to concentrate
on my work due to lack of sex. When I try to discuss the same with my wife she doesn’t seem to understand my problem
and says, “Why should we have sex as we are not planning to have any more babies.” Please help.
Answer by Shweta Anand: Well, I can relate to the emotional distress you must be going through due to your present
situation. A lot of women after pregnancy go through low sex drive , experience post- natal depression , lack of self –
esteem and tend to experience dyspareunia as well. Pregnancy is joyful yet not an easy experience for any women to go
through and involves roller coater of emotions both biologically and psychologically. In your case it has already been few
years since your wife has gone through child -birth so it becomes imperative to explore reasons behind her aversion to
sex at present and to understand her beliefs & attitudes towards it. I would advise you to consult a psychologist since they
will be able to explore in detail the myths or beliefs your wife is going through regarding sex , help enhance your
relationship and reduce any distress level that you both must be going through in terms of reasons unknown.
Shweta Anand, Research scholar on positivity and mental health at Nottingham University, U.K.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (Gold Medalist)