My husband hates my mother. Please help!


I had a love marriage two years ago and have had the fortune of enjoying a blissful life post marriage. I have a loving husband and wonderful in laws, the only thing that’s sort of a bottleneck in my marital life is the strained relationship between my husband and my mother. The two people I love the most don’t share a very cordial relationship because my mother was the one, who had initially opposed our marriage and that led to a war of words between her and my husband, Well, months later our marriage was culminated but somehow these two were never able to overcome their differences. My husband doesn’t visit my place and is very vocal about the fact that he hates my mother. On the contrary, my mother doesn’t talk about him at all. Please guide me on how I help the duo in burying their hatchet.

It sounds like you have two good relationships, but sadly these two individuals don’t share a healthy relationship with each other. This can at times make you feel guilty, sad and even stuck at times. First things first, it is necessary to make peace with the fact that this situation may take some time to get back to normal.

At times, people with different personalities do not get along. Take a moment and try stepping into each of their shoes. Consider the feelings of everyone involved, view them as individuals, and accept that you can understand them, but surely not control their feelings. Spend time with each separately, let them know that you love them and choose them both. Insist on not picking any sides. Do not allow either to speak ill of the other, as this isn’t expected from you as a daughter and a wife.

It would also be worthwhile to mention how you would like things to be amicable if possible. Please give them time and space to process the same. It is possible that only one party may take up the initiative; this is progress too. Finding ways to make things work within your new reality may be the best choice. If nothing works out, remember that maintaining ‘neutrality’ is far better than them being at loggerheads. Be patient.

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