I have been married since 6 years and love my husbanda lot. We have a child together and my husband is happy around him, but at times his behaviour is so strange that it becomes incomprehensible. A little mistake on my part and he starts losing his temper on me. It can be a petty thing like breaking something or cooking food which is not to his taste, he reacts in a fashion which is completely unacceptable.
He does the same thing when my son falls sick. I am always blamed for being a bad mother. That’s not all, if he ever suffers a financial setback or professional trouble I am to be blamed. I am often told, “You’re the curse of my life.”
Recently, I read some of his phone messages and found out that he’s been chatting with random girls in his office. When I countered him and offered to leave him, he said, “You don’t love me”. In short, his behaviour is extremely confusing and I am fed up of being blamed for every little thing. Please guide me on how to deal with this mess as I am slipping into depression.
Answer by Dr Ashima Pruthi: I appreciate your patience with a difficult partner like that. I would only say that if he’s so troublesome, he definitely needs counseling. The strange part here is the fact that neither does he want to leave you nor does he want to stay with you peacefully and that makes me feel he has a trigger in his mind which is leading to such time of confusing behaviour. One can only probe him about this possible trigger during a counseling session. Try talking him into seeing a psychologist or else go for couple counseling since you need to deal with this together if you plan to stay with him.
For now, try reasoning it out with him whenever he starts to blame you. Such response from your side might discourage him from blaming your further.