Pay attention to each other: Do not take each other for granted. A few years down the line you become so comfortable with each other that it’s easy to say, “He/she’ll understand. They know me so well.” Don’t commit this mistake. Your spouse still needs your attention and a kiss while leaving for work. Sleeping with a warm good night kiss may seem like a silly thing, but goes a long way in maintaining the warmth of your relationship.
Your spouse comes first: Even your kids should be second on the list. It is a bitter truth but often few relationships in your life can create trouble in your marriage. Remember, after your parents, friends and kids are gone; it is your spouse you have to spend your entire life with. You will need to keep the passion alive for this stage.
Make love: Don’t let few years of marriage, two kids and parents staying with you be the reason for not having sex often. Don’t make sex a weekend routine. Try new tricks or quick make-out sessions if you don’t have much time. Keeping the fire burning is a must for happy marriages.
Don’t try to be equals: Don’t fall in the ‘men and women are equal’ trap when it comes to marriage. We don’t mean that you have to be a doormat wife — be independent but don’t get too feminist. If you have helped kids with homework for three consecutive days, don’t take days off from making breakfast or planning for it. There are times when your spouse will help you with your tasks. Being equal doesn’t work in marriages. What matters is being together.
Don’t criticise or compare: Constructive criticism is very different from regular one. If your spouse breaks a glass one day, you do not need to infer open them that they are always careless. Putting down your partner every time and telling them that they are dumb because they can’t read a map is not taking your marriage on the right road. While it’s nice to compliment a friend’s wife on her culinary skills, or praising a friend’s husband on his achievement, do not ever compare your spouse to them. This can bring in a lot of negativity in the relationship and you definitely don’t want that. Here’s what Dr Sanjoy Mukerji, Psychologist and Marriage Counsellor has to say about it.