Gone are the days when women were looked down upon for the making the first move in the dating game. In fact, in the modern scenario the dating game is being re-written where women take the initiative to set changing the rules of dating. There is even a specialised dating app that empowers women to call the shots in a relationship, including ask the guy out. And the metrosexual man seems to be loving it, if a recent research is anything to go by. Not only do they welcome the advances, they also find such women more attractive.
Psychotherapist Ameeta Sanghvi Shah calls it a positive change. “Society as a whole is getting more liberal and ready to accept that women can have sexual and intimacy needs. They can take the initiative and yet be ‘decent’ and not be dominating or aggressive,” she said.
Traditional thinking is changing where a woman was supposed to play hard to get and remain coy. “Today, she could possibly initiate or respond more authentically. A workable relationship may not see the light of day simply because both are hesitant and waiting for a signal from the other,”adds Ameeta. She advises women to have an indirect approach, “Give subtle non-verbal cues instead of directly saying “I love you”. Later, it is possible to be more direct to the guy to let him know that you find him cool or interesting.”
Explaining this phenomenon, psychiatrist Dr. Rajiv Anand, says, “Most men are relatively poor in communication skills, especially when they want to meet, talk and interact with a person from the opposite gender. Some may lack confidence and avoid it. However, when a woman comes forward to talk they welcome this readily as they don’t have to work hard for it.”
Youngsters like Aryan Dixit endorse the idea of women making the first move. Says the marketing professional, “I am against the old-fashioned approach of men always making the first move. It is not about women being in control, but it is all about wanting the pressure off your back. In today’s times when women can openly express their opinions, men, too, face the fear of rejection resulting in getting tongue-tied in front of the woman they like.”
Learn the tricks to expert conversation
Starting an excellent conversation is the best way to engage the man of your dreams. The way you start your talks, could lead to a solid relationship. Try to get his opinion on something, ask his advice, it will make him feel important. When in a group, drag him into a conversation and then use ingenious ways to attract his attention. You can also sprinkle the conversation with a little bit of humour. Get to know in advance his areas of interest since the conversation might lead to those topics too and you don’t want to be caught unaware.
Express yourself clearly
If you are out together in a group with friends, notice what he likes and if you agree to his likings, whether it is a song, movie or a play, express it. Put across your thoughts in clear words, so if it is raining and you love the rains, tell him how much you like the rainy season. If the guy too is interested in you but has still not expressed it, this always works since it is a sure indicator from your side for him to make the next move. Chances are he might grab you by the hand to get wet in the rain and things might get interesting further on.
Men like it because…
Gives them freedom to choose
There is no fear of rejection
No pressure about approaching a woman
They feel flattered when a woman approaches them
Good for women because…