My friend met her husband at the workplace. She was head over heels in love but the guy wasn’t interested initially. She kept on pursuing and eventually both got married with family’s consent. I personally never liked the guy because I always saw him flirting with women. Anyway, they moved abroad soon after their wedding.

My friend recently got to know about her husband’s extra marital affair and is devastated. The problem is she doesn’t want to end the marriage. She is desperate to make it work. The guy admits to his feelings for the other girl but says he loves my friend too and won’t leave her if she remains quiet about this. What should she do?

Well, I can totally empathize with your friend and it’s a difficult situation for anyone to be in. It is devastating for any one to know that their partner is not loyal to them. It would be best for your friend to face the situation boldly and converse with her husband about it. By having a conversation, I mean they should have it “realistically” since what he is doing is not realistic. It feels nice to have flings and have a countless of them but it’s wishful thinking; realistically he is a married man with everyone’s consent and even his own and has to sort out things in a matured way since marriage involves not just two people but two families and host of emotions and commitments.

One tries to lose hope of amending and arranging up the broken pieces but it’s time to be hopeful and resilient and they need to choose realistically what is best for both of them and then reach a conclusion. If it doesn’t get resolved amicably, it is best to talk face to face with a psychologist and explore all possibilities. The reason they may need an expert is so she can help them deal with all the issues lingering in their relationship, help in conflict resolution and explore in detail the reasons behind her husband’s infidelity and for his impulsivity to flirt around.