Ever wondered why despite doing everything on the book — from paying ample attention to foreplay and exploring unchartered territories on bed — your partner seems to have trouble reaching the finish line? Well, apart from regular suspects including stress and hormonal conditions, it could also be because you are not doing something right on the hay stack. Here are four activities that could be an orgasm dampener.
Focussing on positions
Just because you’ve seen a couple of videos and have read the Kama Sutra doesn’t mean you have to try it all on your girl. Unless both of you are keen to experiment and try out different styles, stick to simple ones. Because by the time you get your stance right, she might have lost her passion.
Talking between the act
Women might be great at multi-tasking, but when it comes to action between the sheets, they prefer silence rather than the annoying natters. Dr Sudha Khanna, a clinical psychologist, says, “Find out if your partner likes to talk dirty during lovemaking. If she prefers monosyllabic sounds and moaning to answering your questions or keeping pace with your imagination, then let her be. Most importantly, don’t pressure her by constantly asking if she’s nearing climax. Instead, look for signs like heavy breathing. The more you ask her if she’s close, the more chances that she might just not.”Dropping the momentum
One of the biggest mistakes men commit is to either pick up speed or drop it mid-way, says Dheeraj Kamdar, a sex therapist. “Some men completely skip foreplay and head for the main act. So, if you are aiming for the clitoris within seconds, you might as well forget pleasuring her.” He adds, “Once you’ve turned on the heat, don’t let the momentum drop. Keep the rhythm and movement; if you suddenly build up the pressure or speed or let it drop, then she might lose the pace with which she was inching towards orgasm.”
Leaving room for distractions
Keeping the TV on, playing songs on the radio, attending calls in between and feeling the need to use the restroom in the thick of action — these are sure to kill her sexual appetite. Pay attention to the atmosphere — you don’t have to deck up the room with flowers or light scented candles, but make sure the mood is romantic. Dr Sudha says, “Women generally have more trouble concentrating during sex, because they are worried about their appearance and keep wondering if they are doing it right. So, don’t add to their woes by getting distracted in the middle of the romp. In case you have company at home, make sure you lock the door. Women feel comfortable when they know there will be no interruption.”