I got married last year and even though my husband loves me a lot, he continues to spend most of his time with his friends- both male and female. In fact, I have a feeling that he’s happier around them than he is with me and this thought makes me very uncomfortable. I love him immensely and this divided attention is upsetting me beyond words, so much so that I have developed a feeling of jealousy towards all his friends. Shouldn’t he concentrate on me rather than wasting his time on his friends? Please tell me how to handle this situation. – Anonymous
Answer by Dr Chetan Nagpal: Though I understand that your husband’s ignorance is wrong, I think you need to look at the situation with a more open mind. Firstly, you need to understand that friendship is a need and perhaps you are having a difference of opinion with your husband because you don’t have as many friends as him. Secondly, try having a dialogue with him about your reservations and the fact that he’s constantly making you feel neglected even though it might be not deliberate.
It is extremely important to know if there’s a reason why he’s leaning towards his friends and choosing to spend time with them instead of you. Also, it is worthless to hold a grudge against his friends and to get jealous of them because they must not be even aware of the problems you are facing.
At times, it’s difficult for men to change their old ways, specially after getting married and I am sure your husband must be finding it hard to divide time between you and his friends. Talk it out with him and make him realize that you are facing an issue he’s not even informed about. All the best!