I am a 23-year-old student, pursuing my CS final. I fell in love with one of my juniors at school. We became good friends initially and got committed to each other much later. For the next 4 years, we dated each other and made numerous future plans. But unfortunately, she cheated on me, due to which we had a fight and she decided to break up. She moved on, but ever since that day I have been struggling to move on. It’s been exactly 430 days now, but it seems we broke up a few days back. Though I am back to normal now and leading a good and balanced life, as compared to my darkest phase (6 months post breakup) during which I contemplated giving up on life. The idea was to free myself from that unbearable pain and agony of being separated from her. Her thoughts still cross my mind every day. I tell the world that I have overcome her, but in reality I still miss her and think of her. I have tried a lot to distract myself from her thoughts, but failed miserably. Please suggest me a solution because I can’t function like this anymore. – By Anonymous
Answer by Dr Ashima Pruthi: I am so disturbed after knowing about your state, but I am glad that you fought all the suicidal thoughts and decided to give life another chance. I understand that some relationships seem so eternal that it becomes impossible to move on after they have ended, but at the same time you need to observe the fact that your ex-girlfriend cheated on you and has happily moved on, while you are still stuck in the past. It will be best for you to move on by getting away for a little while – take a holiday, do some self introspection, take up some hobby or join some community service.
Also, besides distracting yourself with one of the above mentioned things, you must also resolve to not look back, just the way you resolved to live. Believe me, there’s nothing bigger than taking control of your life. If none of these activities help you forget her, try visiting a psychologist and talk it out because your hurtful past needs an outlet, don’t just keep it inside you anymore