Balancing love when you are a new mom


Once the euphoria of having a baby wears off, the scene at home changes for many new moms. Earlier you would be eagerly waiting for your husband to come back home from work or make spontaneous plans for the evening, but now it is an exhausted you, trying to throw a smile in his direction while pushing the baby towards him as you desperately want to go to the washroom in peace or to the kitchen to grab a bite. The physical and emotional turbulence due to hormones at times makes it natural for women to put love for their partner on the backburner. That leaves many relationships, even the good ones, staggering, but given time they are bound to bounce back. As things settle down and both of you get more sleep while sharing the workload, there is a possibility that the relationship just gets stronger.

To keep the love going, don’t let intimacy take a backseat. Try these simple tricks to put love and energy back into your relationship.

Sex is a big issue for men
While women do not feel like doing it for a long time after delivery, men easily tend to feel sex deprived. It is normal to have a bit of a lull in sexual activity after a baby is born, don’t try to postpone it for too long. You can consult your doctor and as per their guidance start with it slowly. Confide in your friends who are mothers to learn from their experiences. Talk to your partner and make them understand the physical changes that you feel.

Be more affectionate
This comes easy to women who have motherly feelings towards all after they have a baby. Including your partner too in this makes him feel wanted despite the lack of sexual activity. Send him cute texts through the day expressing your love and eagerness to be with him instead of the regular texts of complaints or grocery lists. It will make you feel less guilty about ignoring him too.

Accept help from others
Get things organised by taking help from people around you. Look for a part-time house help or if your family can lend a hand to look after the baby for some time, don’t hesitate to accept it. Use that time to make plans with your partner. It might just be an evening out to sit and chat or go for a stroll but it makes a big difference to the relationship.

Stay connected
You can avoid having sex and yet get physical with your partner. When you are sitting and watching TV or even while rocking your baby to sleep, snuggle up to him. Don’t miss any chance that you might get to steal a glance, hug or kiss. Sometimes make kisses more passionate instead of just a simple peck on the cheek. These little touches mean a lot and makes you stay connected.

Enjoy all your emotions
Holding each other just for a minute before getting out of the bed, giving a kiss for no particular reason — enjoy the small stuff too. Talking from her experience, Meenal Jagat, mother to a six-month-old baby says, “You will go through a range of emotions once you become a mother. There will be times you will want to cry at the smallest snarl, so remember to laugh at the tiniest funny thing too, that you encounter through the day. It helps me learn to enjoy my emotions instead of being ashamed of them or hiding them.”

Gift him a surprise

 Everyone loves surprises and when they come in the form of a gift, the gesture is bound to be appreciated. So, the next time you are shopping online, place an order for something that he has set his eyes on for a long time. Surprise him with the gift out of the blue and see the love in his eyes double for you. The thought of getting him something that he wanted since long, despite you being so busy is more than welcome.
 Few things to do to stay close
 Try to make time for sex in the morning when you feel rested, instead of evening when you are totally tired.
Get used to impromptu quickies when you two have just a few minutes alone.
Make arrangements for the baby and surprise your man with an unplanned, fun lunch date at work.
Don’t wait for any occasion to give him a romantic card with wonderful wordings on it.
Stick love notes in his briefcase, in the car, in his drawer… just about any place which can grab his attention.

2,877 total views, 1 views today