Motherhood is a roller coaster ride. But we all jump into it and dive so deep that the ‘pre-motherhood self’ would not even recognize us today.
Many a times when you feel right on top of things, your kid will knock you down the parenting pedestal the very next minute. But you never give up, that’s never an option when you are a mother.
To describe my motherhood journey so far, I often use one quote -‘Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking out of your body.’ And unless you are a mother, you will never know the pleasure and pain of this quote.
I may have taught my 5-year-old daughter to walk, talk, hold a pen or a spoon but what she has taught me is far more priceless. Here are some lessons I would like to share:
Your child will never have a better advocate than you: When kids her age were starting nursery, I chose to give her another year. There were many who warned me of the consequences, of how I was wasting a year, but two years down I am so happy for having taken the decision. Your child turns you into the best advocate. It was strange how I never tried to hide the fact that she was not physically prepared to begin writing at that tender age. But did it make me lose trust in her? Not at all. This experience made me learn that I will never accept limits on my daughter. I will always believe in her and my instincts.
Crying is not the end of world : When she started school, she cried. When she saw me going back to work after my sabbatical, she cried. Not only her, but I cried along with her every single time. However, with time I realised that crying is a way of cleansing negative thoughts. So let the tears roll and don’t get stuck in the rut of emotions. Move on!
You will turn into your mother often: No matter how hard you try, you will end up applying some of your mother’s parenting techniques – even the ones you despised as a child.
Allow your kids to embarrass you: They will be asked some basic questions that they will pretend they don’t know answers to. Or they will announce in front of 10 people that you did not give them a bath because you were getting late. Or tell your parents and neighbours in detail about the ugly fight you had with your spouse last night. And if this was not enough, they will jump and show you the crack in their shoes in the middle of a sophisticated gathering. The only way to handle them is by embracing them. Don’t shut them up. Let them be honest and you will give wings to their thoughts.
Avoid the race: ‘Your child hasn’t starting reading yet? Mine started last year.’ ‘Your child looks underweight. Mine is of the appropriate weight.’ We all have come across mothers who are constantly competing against you, even when you choose not to play comparisons. Don’t be a part of this race, for the sake of your kid. There is no end to this madness.
Filter parenting advice: People will tell you your child eats less or her hair needs more oiling. Don’t fret. Take the advice you like and omit the rest right out of your head. Just enjoy being a parent.