Question: I am a 60-year-old man, involved with a 40-year-old woman, who is incidentally my sister-in-law. We have known each other since 10 years, but got into a relationship two years back. Though we are seriously fond of each other, we have never had a physical relationship and have only shared very intense love with each other.
I found a confidant in her and revealed all my secrets to her, but we could not move in together because we cannot leave our respective families.
The real problem began some 3 months back, when after some ego clashes we stopped talking and exchanging messages. I still love her, but not sure if she loves me as dearly as she did few months back.
While sometimes I feel it is good riddance, sometimes I want her back. We both have always wanted each other in our lives for emotional support sans sex, but her current silence is killing me. Also, my ego is not permitting me to renew my relationship with her. I am at cross roads. Please advise.
Answer by Dr Era S Dutta: I can understand the frustration and unhappiness that comes from losing a strong emotional bond. It is essential that you stay strong during this time. Even though you had a platonic relationship, it was unjust to your respective partners and families. The lady in question seems to have moved on and made her peace with it.
It is time you try to let go of the sweet memories. This may seem difficult initially, but at the end of the day can be extremely liberating. You can try taking your mind off her by pursuing a new hobby, exercising and focusing on yourself. You have a chance to mend the bond with your spouse and move past this crossroad. Focus on the good in your spouse and make her your confidant again.
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