“Shaking things up a bit can add excitement and spontaneity,” says Ellen Barnard, a sex educator and owner of A Woman’s Touch, a Madison, Wisconsin–based sexuality and education center.
The key words there: “a bit.” Experts agree that you don’t need to try (or buy) anything extreme to achieve a big boost in novelty and pleasure. Test one or more of these moves out tonight and see for yourself.
ENGAGE IN AFTERPLAY
Done with the main event? Now’s the perfect time to return to some foreplay favorites, says sex educator Emily Nagoski.
When your partner is already aroused, she may find that certain moves feel extra-intense, Nagoski explains.
Not only that, but if you’ve always been curious about trying something new, like, say a type of toy, after intercourse can be a great time to engage because you both may be less inhibited. Plus, there’s no pressure on the trick to actually work. You’re just having fun for fun’s sake.
OPEN THE WINDOWS—BUT CLOSE THE CURTAINS
The feeling of the breeze on your bare skin and the ever-so-slight possibility that the neighbors might hear your moans can be incredibly arousing, says Harlan Cohen, author of Getting Naked.
Or, if you’re feeling even more daring, instigate a makeout session in your backyard as it gets dark. Even though it’s remote, the fear you could get caught produces an adrenaline rush that adds a layer of excitement and urgency to the encounter.
SCRATCH HER HEAD
The scalp contains tons of nerve endings—that’s why that mini-scalp massage when you get your hair cut always feels so good.
Even though the touch is G-rated, the skin-on-skin contact can trigger a flow of bonding hormones like oxytocin that can make you both feel more connected, explains Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First.
And because the act isn’t automatically linked to sex, it can pave the way for a long evening of back-and-forth foreplay before the main event, which often gets lost in long-term relationships.
CORRUPT THE COUCH
Start with making out high-school style and then amp up the action by having her straddle your knee. Here, you can rock back and forth while you’re kissing, which provides direct stimulation to her clitoris, says Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the podcast Sex With Emily.
RELIVE YOUR FINEST MOMENTS
Fantasy sharing sounds great in theory, but in practice it can be complicated—does your wife really know what you and Margot Robbie would do together? (And do you really want to hear what she’d do with George Clooney?)
Instead, share the fantasies that star her. Start by giving the play-by-play of some of the exceptionally hot moments you’ve had together over the years. You’ve had them before, so who says you can’t have them again?